Aura (araminya) wrote in veganpeople,

Relationships with non-vegans... I'm so upset :(

Hey guys. I had an argument today and another one yesterday with my vegetarian boyfriend where he turned out to be a MUCH bigger speciesist than I thought he was. He said that what I do is much worse than participating in the animal industry; namely, that my having intense negative emotions (like being pissed off) that he can feel, looking at him with intense eyes when I'm angry, and that I can be selfish are worse. Worse. Worse than animals being tortured and killed. Like WTF? And I admit that I can be selfish, but at least I'm unselfish enough have thought about my actions and became vegan accordingly, unlike him. He refuses to even talk about these things. And I'm well aware that I can be selfish, while he is point blank refusing to even think about the animals' suffering. I don't know that one should compare selfishnesses (it's a word now), but... actually, HE should compare them, because my not wanting to always share whatever or wanting to be bothered to do stuff for him (the only ways I can think of that I'm selfish) is like fucking NOTHING compared to the horrors he supports. For entirely selfish reasons. (The only thing that can be said for him is that he has a special needs child and eating bread with eggs, cheese and butter is fast - but it's not like eating bread with tahini, peanut butter and say a chickpea omelette is much slower.)

Another killer argument was, "I don't kill them myself." No, you just pay someone else to do it for you, participating in the worst capitalist system ever that's the single biggest reason the planet is being destroyed, while also preaching about the evils of capitalism all the time. Never pegged him for a hypocrite either. He also said that he's more moral than I am. Uh, okay. Next time we have an argument I'll just go outside and pay someone else to skin a live cat so he doesn't have to face my emotions, and then we can all be happy 'cause hey, at least I chose the lesser of two evils. Fucking bullshit.

Basically I'm wondering what you all would do, and looking for support. There is still hope that he will become vegan; he said once that he has been thinking about it for the sake of the planet. That would be excellent, though it's still beyond my understand how he can just not care about the poor animals. He's otherwise one of the most stand-up individuals I've met; intelligent, kind, honest, but with this, he seems to have a major blind spot (or he just really doesn't care about animals, except the cute cats and dogs that are human companions). And it's upsetting me so much. We've been together 5 years and only now did I hear what he truly thinks. Well, not surprising, considering he has immediately shut down all discussion about animal rights before.

(Mods: I'm running out of internet time at the library, don't have time to find other tags! Sorry. Will tag more later.)
Tags: speciesism

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